penulis kecewa itu berkata

fadz said...

ted,

Tiada bintang
Dapat menerangkan hati yang telah dicelah
Bagaiku lumpuh tak mampu berdiri
Aku tetap begini
Takkan berubah kerna aku tetap aku
Dan lalu rindumu bukanlah aku

21 December, 2008

Alahai fadz. I know you'll bounce back.

Bukan hanya rinduku
Tapi mereka juga
Dan yang terutama
Rindumu sendiri
Getarmu di jiwa
Perlumu seada
Pada huruf
Pada suara
Pada cerita
Dan sorot mata perhatian kami.

Wah, see what he made me do! Ted sudah jadi puitis!

gallivanting

Fadz kata dia nak berenti menulis setelah kerampokan laptopnya. Ala!!!

Aku harap ia hanyalah proses berkabung sahaja dan dia akan terus menulis. Dan walaupun aku dah berjanji ikrar nak tulis review aku tentang Selamat Pagi Cinta, masih belum ditunaikan.

Semalam ke PC Fair di JB. Tak rancang nak pegi pun, tapi alang-alang dah sebelah hotel ni aje, apa lagi. Why not. Hoh, atom PCs are SO in right now. Am so tempted to get one. No, scrap that. WILL be getting one, just haven't decided which one yet. Most probably the BenQ Joybook Lite. 160GB internal HDD itu penting di samping rupa komestik yang menawan dan faktor coolnessorang-lain-kat-ofis-belum-pakai-yang-itu. PC Acer tu dah ramai sangat yg guna. Anyways as starters, beli pendrive 8GB dulu haha.

Melihat haiwan liar di habitatnya dengan menaiki tram di waktu malam sungguh menyeronokkan. Diselang-seli gurauan nak menolak rakan sekongkol ke luar - "Tiger's place or lion's den, take your pick!". Dalam hati kekaguman yang amat terhadap ciptaan Tuhan. Indah dan takjub. Pertama kali menyaksikan Hyena berbelang dan makhluk sebenar yang disensasikan sebagai Anubis. Tapir memakan daun dua meter dari tram kami.

Hari ini masih diisytihar hari untuk bermalasan. Kem gembira dapat tidur dengan cukup malam tadi. Mungkin aku tak berdengkur sangat haha kali ni. One of these days must try that nose-strip that Eizlan Yusof is peddling on TV.

Cumanya Puteri Pacific JB ni kekurangan seterika sangat, aku rasa tak selayaknya dengan harga yang dibayar dan taraf bilik yang ada unlimited broadband connection dan complimntary mini bar. Boleh tak turun breakfast dgn tudung tak gosok?

rasa hari ini

mister,

in case you haven't realized it yet, i'm leaving you.

i'm sure you've noticed the signs. but you didn't do much or showed you really care anyway. i guess you knew there was not much use to it. i was never really yours to begin with, was i? so i guess it's ok.

i doubt you will miss me that much. sometimes, maybe, but not much. and it'll only be in the beginning. after awhile, i'll just be 'that girl who used to be'.

when i see yet again today how you ..........., i bow down. what's the use.

there's not much love lost in this case, i suppose.

as usual - it's not really you, it's me.

ah.

sakit kepala

(massages back of head)
"Ouch, I've got a headache. I don't know why."


Do I look like a psychic doctor, dude?
Go see a real doc at the clinic.

The most I could do is only give you a painkiller, if I got one. That's all.

-------------------------------------------

Things are changing, again. I have to learn to adapt to the new surrounding.
Human beings are such resilient creatures.

-------------------------------------------

We're having a pot luck with baby Iman soon, yeay!!!

to azlina and jim, post their 30th and 40th birthday celebration

..respectively, not at the same time, of course hehe.

i just realized there were many similarities regarding my friendship with these two -

both were born in November - 10 years apart, plus several days. one a sagittarian, the other a scorpio.

my first contact with them weren't in person but through phonecalls and the world wide web - one thru email, the other thru the comments box of a blog. and at the first time that i met each of them, of course i never thought our friendships are gonna grow into what it is today.

both has shoulders i've cried on - one literally, the other figuratively (ye la yang sorang tu tak muhrim, mana boley).

both has given me some hard advice, with harsh words to face the reality of the world.

both prefer to be on their own momentarily during bouts of personal crisis, but just as soon will come back with a vengeance and lash out with great force after they've licked their wounds - better not be in their way!

both are more comfortable to complain and whine in English, somehow.

both love good food (haha well who doesnt?) and doesnt mind spending and splurging for the satisfaction of some yummy grub.

both, i love dearly, as great friends go.

semoga dimurahkan rezeki, panjang umur dan dikurniakan kesihatan hendaknya oleh Allah buat sahabat-sahabatku ini.

amin.

oh no Abg Nuar

ah, perlu ke, di waktu rembang sebelum sambutan harijadi Azlina semalam, aku mendapat berita dari Sister bahawa Abg Nuar telahpun mempunyai gefren iaitu seorang pemain boling negara.

demm.

i knew i should've taken up bowling more seriously!

.....

at this trying time, she just said, same-o, same-o.

((hugs))

babe, if there's anything u need from me, i'll be there insya allah.

blast from the past and forward to the future

There was a time that I loved those 'time capsule' email services and joined at random, typing out various messages to be emailed to myself in the future. So once in awhile I'll be receiving stuff from myself (yeah I know kinda...hahaha) and usually it's quite amusing. A check at the inbox today presented me with the following :

capsule@forbes.net to me

Greetings from your past. In the fall of 2005, you agreed to receive this message, which has been preserved in the Forbes.com E-Mail Time Capsule.

Here is the text of your message:

Hey, me in the future!
Today is 12/11/05, Abah just got back from India, Kochi. He lost his luggage for awhile but it's confirmed they have it. We're supposed to go to Om's place and visit Aqif, but it turned out they were in Subang.. frust la. Then patut nak pegi rumah Kak Yong, but tak jadi kut... semua Zzzzz je ni.

Yesterday I was thinking... whether I dare to make a move out of the current place at PP&P. Damn I don't dare to.. yet.
I hope... it's better now.

Yours,
Ted


Heh. I think I'll write myself a 'reply'.


Dear me in the past,

Today is 16 Nov 2008. Abah and Mama are sleeping over at the kebun. We've 'upgraded' the pondok and it's now a fully-livable house, yea, complete with a bathtub! Abah is still travelling all over the place - he'll be going to Jakarta end of the month and is, in fact, finalizing plans to be placed in Kalimantan for a couple of years. Meanwhile Mama is still on contract with her workplace, they just renewed her tenure for another 2 years in September.Yeah, both still enjoying work very much and not showing signs of much slowing down.

Om and family have moved nearby, just 5 minutes away, so we get to see Aqif ever so often now. Aqif's going to be a big brother soon - sis-in-law is expecting another boy! This Syawal me and Sister FINALLY paid a visit to Kak Yong all on our own and we spent the night there on a whim. Haha. It's only Nilai and yet, it took years to finally happen haha. Shmucks.

On work - nope, in the end I decided not to go through with the JB plan. Am no more at the same old place though! Well, I'm still in PP&P, but not under that Section anymore lah. Earlier this year En Lan suggested that I go to the other Section, and this time I took the offer. More changes seem to be on the horizon as well, but it's still too soon to tell if things materialize and whether I'll finally take up the challenge. To answer your question - some things are still the same..and some things ARE better. So hope is not lost.

Some other happenings to be noted since 2005 - bought a car and a house (all rented out - erm, the house, I meant, not the car). Am in touch with primary school friends again thanks to Facebook (that's a new online social site, Friendster's all bust for me). Gained AND lost weight. Am reading non-fiction too these days. Got crushed in the search of love. Had a marriage proposal from a married man (!), plans of an arranged marriage (one botched, the other...well, we'll see). And have come to LOVE Anuar Zain hahaha.

If I tell you how things are now, today, there's a lot of stuff that you'd be ever amused of. There's the constant factor I guess - life is always full of excitement and newly discovered facets.

So now, in 2008, I'm wondering how I'd be, in the next 3 years - 2011. Am hoping for the best, as always.

Regards,
Yourself (in the future)

Fancy receiving news from yourself in the future - something that will never happen except in sci-fi movies. The concept itself is mind-boggling : If you know what the future would bring, then what? The future is a result of the chain of events that happened from the past, and if we then knew how it'll turn out, how would we ensure that our actions will be the exact requirements towards the future we're supposed to have? Or if we don't like the future, then how do we ensure what we do will change the results? Then again, if we change the results, that initially should be initiated by the fact that we already KNEW how things will turn out, if we succeeded to change things, theoretically the action of telling oneself about the future will not happen in the first place, and if that didn't happen, we wouldn't be changing it... ahh...it's an endless, impossible flux. Wormhole and all. No way.

Anyways, here's one to a better tomorrow, nonetheless!

oh abang Nuar

LOL. I can't believe I actually cried at Anuar Zain's live performance at Esplanade the other day. Yeah, I've always thought he's a really good crooner and there were a couple of his songs that I like, but it's not like I'm such a big fan or anything. In fact I went to the show... just because. There's a lot of things that I did which were simply 'just because', and this, was one of them.

Never did I expect to shed tears, but that was exactly what happened. Can't even remember which was the first song I cried to, but what I do remember is that my cheeks were wet at more than one number!

Oh Anuar Zain is GOOD.

------------------------------------

Thanks for the dedication. I appreciate it.


Teman Terulung

Bila bertaut senyuman,
Mata berlirikan,
Memancarkan keluhuran,
Cerah kesederhanaan mu,
Seindah kejujuran mu.

Detik seia sejiwa,
Terungkap setia,
Tiada upaya sepi,
Mata kudup penantianku,
Hadirnya teman sejati.

Melangkah kita menjejak mimpi,
Bahgia berdiri dengan mu di sisi,
Harapan kita meniti hari,
Sentiasa seiring.

Paling agung teman terulung,
Tenunan emas sayap hidup ku
Tak ingin ku undur bertamu,
Bertakhta teguh,
Ke akhir waktu.

Ok, nangis lagi.

farewell, dear Dato'

Today at 5.31, she'll be clocking out for the last time from our office building.

Our beloved Vice President, who's been helming the Division from the year 2004 with many great achievements and success stories.

When she speaks, she moves hearts. She talks softly but with utmost conviction.

The Iron Lady, some said of her. It's a mighty feat to reach to that level career-wise, in a place traditionally dominated by male engineers.

When she makes decisions, she'll put the most important things at the fore and yet will always try her best to be fair to all parties. At time when the Division is criticized unjustly, she will be the first to defend us and amend the perception.

Seldom (never for me) do people see her losing her cool, but you'll know when she's displeased and it just make you want to improve for the better. Our utmost respect for her is such that you just don't want her to be disappointed.

Her handwriting, gosh, I so admire her penmanship, which is so neat and beautiful, and for someone so busy like her, to be able to pen down her instructions so orderly and neat in the script everybody has come to recognize at a glance, is just such a marvel.

Her eye for details is unmatchable. She'll pore over the matter and remember what's there in the reports, so we always know to be prepared with the facts whenever one is called for a meeting. She's a sharp person and will always ask for the whole story before she makes up her mind.

Her concerns for the company in the future although she's already leaving, is evident in her farewell speech this morning as she outlined the challenges that we still had to face and her hopes for us all.

Although I've never been directly reporting to her, I've been blessed with quite a number of opportunities to spend around the great lady. Not only in the office, I've also been on a boat mencandat sotong by her side (we were the only ones who didn't manage to catch any squid that day though LOL), went snorkeling while on an offshore project trip, and taken a couple of rides in her car during the outstation jaunts. She'd even made the time to come to my Raya open house this year.

My tears fell as the State staff recited a poem dedicated especially for her. I just can't help it.

So farewell, dearest Dato'. Thank you very much for all that you've done for the company, for the advice and guidance, your kindness, your understanding, for everything. You're such a jewel who shines bright in the lives of many, and you'll never be forgotten. May Allah bless you and may you're bestowed with health, happiness and good fortune in future.

snippets

i have no time lah for that. seriously. i understand better now.

will try to do better.

i'm glad i took the time for Abah tonight.

mengisi borang adalah memenatkan.

having wishes come true is rather bliss.

tq for the reminder as well - be careful what you wish for.

will most probably be having a ramly burger tomorrow, under the street lamp again.

no subway, i wasn't hungry, but please don't cancel your makan wishes just because i don't want to!

need to get ready.

starting clean.

don't let go of a good thing.

equilibrium.

tit-for-tat.

thank you again and again.

ask.

i shall speak my mind.

maaf

Dear T-,

I'm so sorry.

I'm just not ready for that, yet.

That fateful day, you caught me at a time when I was so vulnerable.

I tried. I thought I'd be able to let things happen, but now I know I couldn't, not without being unfair. That, I wouldn't want to do.


Be well and best wishes.

the point is?

haih. dia buat lagi perangai lamanya.
dan aku memutuskan untuk bermain malam ini.

tapi sekejap saja.
tak kuasa eh. esok hari raya.

lagipun ia pointless. sekadar saja suka-suka.

no strings attached.

perrrfect

(a)

..I'm not.

Far from it.

I try to be the best that I could, though.

Sometimes I get unnerved by the expectations. Yours. Theirs.

Nobody's perfect.

We all just try to be the best that we could.

And then there's acceptance.


(b)

Sometimes it feels like there's an Improve-Ted-Committee(TM) around.

Hey, I try, okay!

Thanks for your concern. Your comments are noted.


(c)

This Ramadhan I observed changes in several people close to me. Some are quite surprising ones, whereas the rest are those I've expected to happen in due course of time.

Nonetheless they're all changes for the better. Alhamdulillah.

I guess they must have their own Improve-X-Committee(TM) around too.

it's the weekend!

i simply love weekends now! only now i really understand what Mel meant when she always tell me how she live basically for the weekends.

one part of the old job that i totally don't miss at all - having to go to the office on the weekends due to the awfully heavy workload. sometimes i even spend all SEVEN days of the week at the office. gosh, i was that bad. urrgh.

can't remember the last time i did that anymore.

these days, during the work-week, the concentration go towards work of course, but once the weekend roll over...it seems to me that what happened from monday to friday was reduced to a blur. the memories of saturdays and sundays are much more clearer in my head haha.


-----------------

oh, and on weekends the 'routine' continues. with mms - the distance seem like nothing.

----------------


so definitely. weekends are way more syiok than other days.

monday to friday are workdays, work work work.

lepas itu weekend comes wee-hoo!

p/s - the last 3 weekends (including this one!) are all shopping weekends. adoi. habih RM.

Breaking All The Rules

Layan lagu zaman nineties jom.



If you want it slowly don't knock on my door
'Cause I want it all and a little bit more
If you want to go anywhere just let me know when
'Cause I want to be there again and again
Now I know the time is right and I can't wait another night
Love will never turn back around

Breaking all the rules when we get together
Anything at all are you ready to do
Breaking all the rules we can run away just me and you
Oh oh oh oh

Now that we're going, let's go all the way
Nobody can stop us I don't care what they say
I'll take you places that you've never known
Don't look behind you are you ready to go
Now I know the time is right and I can't wait another night
Love will never turn back around

I put my mind on the go because this feeling I know
Is never gonna'go away
And everybody around me has nothing to say
I'm just a runaway

-She Moves, 1997

et tu?

i joked to K that he should take me out for buka puasa.

he gestured and asked, "should i get anybody's permission first?"

i told him - i'm my own woman lah!


sheesh. perlu keluarkan pekeliling kat diorang semua ni kut? or at least a nota makluman?

and then...

it's beginning to become a routine. our routine.

the smattering of smses and / or emails throughout the day.
asking each other 'so what's for buka puasa today?' during the journey back home.
the customary long call on the weekend.

routine.
i can do routine.

the thing with a routine is - you begin to start expecting things to come a particular way, regardless of the fact that nobody said anything about anyone having to do whatever.

that's the thing.
you just settle yourself in, the things you do becoming the things you always do.

routine is okay.

it's just the not-expecting part i gotta be careful with.

it's not cast in stone, kay? breaks from the routine is ok too.

life lesson number entah

maka apabila sedang shopping baju raya dan didapati di sebuah kedai itu apabila dicuba sahaja bajunya saiz kena dan asyik nampak cantik dan cantik sahaja berhentilah try baju-baju di situ selepas menjumpai sepasang dengan warna tema keluarga yang telah dipersetujui or else maka bakal terjadilah kejadian almostmenghabisspendkan bonus raya yang tak sampai setengah bulan pun kepada pembelian baju raya sahaja dan belum termasuk bajet untuk perkara-perkara lain lagi

cosy

you told me that time, 'don't get too cosy, ok'.

ala, i know lah.

at this point, takde maknanya nak cosy lebih-lebih sgt dgn you pun :p

but i appreciate everything, tau.

who?

like i told you.

he asked me, who are you to me and whether you are my .....?

at that time i didn't really wanna say it as by saying 'yes' will put you in a category.

because if i put you there, now what? so what?
are there things i'm supposed to do because you're that?
am i supposed to start expecting something, because you're that?
so, will you have to start conforming to what it's supposed to be?

i think we'll just wing it lah.

so, are we?

eheh. yeah. just at the moment, kan? let's seize the moment :)

esok lusa we don't know yet. so i'll settle for now.

until then.

oh

you ticked me off about it. that hurts, a bit, at first.

but what you said last was such a salvo.

thanks, as always.

i'll try.



remember the time we laughed our heads off talking about what people say about us?

that's how it is, isn't it?

at the end of the day, all that matters is what each of us really meant to.

that time of the year again

Yeap, it's that time of the year again (eh berapa banyak 'that time of the year' dah ada daa)

Which one?

This one laaaa!

Finally completed tabulating everything to the Boss this morning. Well, I can't say 'THE' Boss, as mid-year I've transferred to another Section and thus, a change in the immediate boss as well. This resulted in my KPIs, which were set at the beginning of the year by Boss A as being in Boss B's hands at the end of it. And as the transition period took longer than usual due to the replacement being a fresh trainee (training pun tak habih lagi, tengah2 tu dia kena pegi kursus pulak, yang dua-tiga hari ada, yang dua-tiga minggu pun ada), it resulted in me not being able to practically set any KPI with Boss B for the remaining of the year, despite the fact that officially my transfer took place exactly in the middle of the year.

Haih. Anyways. Dengan Boss B ni takde susah2. He simply asked me to do my KPI rating with Boss A and get it signed, and he'll key in whatever Boss A agreed to. Eheh.

Have to admit during the year I was just busy-busy-busy doing things that's supposed to be done as they come along, and didn't really take much time in revisiting the set KPIs or reviewing the progress specifically to see whether we're on track. Tadak masa la (alasan!). Was quite worried while sitting down and looking at it again in the beginning after the company email sent out notification for everybody to log in to the system and start keying in their KPI ratings. I went like 'erk shucks, tercapai ke percentage2 yang aku dah set nih semua haaa??? omg look at the dates, aiyoh, when did we finally complete those reports and stuff haaaa??' Nak 'bega-bega' sangat pun tak boleh, coz it was mostly set with clear quantifiable targets and all.

So several hours within last two days (ewah ada pulak time yg boleh di-freekan hehe) were spent sifting through the project files getting the data for each necessary KPI items - all 11 of them. Tak cukup lagi. Boss A wanted list of this and that to back up the figures. Iyelah, kalau kena query, senang dia backup. Year-end status...project figures..claim figures..submission dates... list of issues...etc etc.

Looking at the end result, I was happy to note that hey, we've actually managed to capture the year's activities quite extensively. Well, after all it was the THIRD year already. I could still remember doing the first year's KPIs - at the end of the year, we realized that some of it were not really quantifiable, several rather time-consuming tasks weren't covered in any of the targets, some targets were set rather TOO ambitiously etc etc. I tell you, bukan semudah tu beb nak buat KPI nih. Putting the weightage to each item is another mini-nightmare - you don't really record the number of hours you spend on each function, and how in the world do you quantify the effort level for the tasks and then relate to the magnitude of its importance and impact? For example, one function may result in a three-page final RM7mil contract but would've taken three months of preparing the necessary paperwork for approvals and going through the negotiation process at both internal and external sides; while another function may involve about an hour for data verification and preparation of invoice each month but brings in a total of RM13mil for the year - so how best to determine what percentage goes to each? It's all between you and the boss to consider, ponder, pening2 kepala pikir and finally agree, these things.

And finally, the time comes - Tada! Silakan membuat pemarkahan anda.

...........

What can I say is all the late hours slogged, the weekends spent at the office, the distance traveled to the project sites, the stress of chasing after counterparts in the State/subsidiary offices and of being chased by the Corporate/CEO/VP's offices etc etc are finally translated into that single figure with dua tempat perpuluhan - and it was a satisfactory one.

Of course, it's still subject to final moderation by the top guns (which I hope mine won't be touched lah - unless to moderate UP hehehe sapa taknak) - but at the moment..

Okaylah. Not so bad. Alhamdulillah.


next - waiting for the result post-moderation and announcement of company bonus
kalau tak banyak, sikit, tapi mesti ada :)

oreo!

all of a sudden, a few hours till the first sahur session this year and i felt like having some oreos!

i blame sm for this post.

i can't remember how i came about to make oreo's the official snack whenever i go for a snorkeling trip. was it during the first time i put on a snorkeling mask in tioman? or was it that trip to redang with our indonesian relatives? whichever it was, by the time perhentian and kapas came into the picture, packs of oreo' were part of the necessities, alongside sunblock, playing cards and travel scrabble. oh, please note that fish has no interest in them chocolatey-biccies. dia buat tak heran je. kalau roti, yes.

oreo's in cheesecakes and other desserts also will always catch my fancy. oreo's in ice-cream, especially. oh, heaven!

there are many who tried to emulate the chocolatey-cream-sandwich goodness of oreo's, but the original is still what i go for. takmau yang tiruan!

by the way, yeah, selamat berpuasa okeys y'all.

grandpa

- And whose grave is this again?
+ Our grandpa.
- Did you get to meet him?
+ Nope. Only Along, Nyah and Kak Yong did. He died before I was born.
- Ohhh. I wonder how he looked like.
+ He was a very handsome man.
- But how do you know? You said he died before you were born?
+ There are pictures.
- Can I see it?
+ Sure. When we get home we'll take a look at it.
- I'd like that.

scale of fun

(he points to the book in my hand)

- You're always with a book.
+ Coz I love reading! I think it's fun.
- But we're on a swing by the beach! Isn't this more fun?
+ Ok...this swing is fun too.
- Which is more fun? Reading a book... or playing?
+ Erm... like I said. Both are fun.
- Ok, on a scale of one to ten, where would reading be?
+ I'd say a seven.
- What about snorkeling?
+ That'd be at a seven as well.
- The same??? (shakes head in disbelief). Then what would be more fun than reading AND snorkeling for you?
+ Reading, AND snorkeling with a great companion. Like you.
- Nyeheehehehhhhh.
+ Really! Doing fun things are good, and doing it with someone you can go along well with, will make it even much better.
- Oh I know....you mean like going on a date. I know you'd like THAT. That should be more fun than just reading, or just snorkeling.
+ But it has to be good, you know.
- So where would a good date be on your scale then?
+ A nine.
- I just KNEW it!

nice or not?

Suhayl. Eight years old.

We were taking a walk. On the Perhentian beach.
There was a bikini-ed lady. On her back. On the beach. She's BIG.

Suhayl made a grand gesture of shielding his eyes.

Him : You know, that's not a very nice size. Erp. I mean, SIGHT.
Me : Which one do you actually mean? Size or sight?
Him : Either way, it's not a nice one. Size, or sight. But then again, I'm only eight, so I'm not interested.

I laughed my ass off!

alamak

Aisay...steadily gaining another kg.
Demmmmmmm!

Blaming it on the carbs, as am currently reading this :

I love pastry way too much.
Ok scrap that. Not just pastry. Or buttered bread. Or pasta. Or ikan keli goreng berlada. Or karipap. Or tuna sandwiches with lotsa pepper.

Basically, I simply love having food. Glorious, delicious food.

Should be time to hit the gym again, methinks. But how? I've just freezed my membership, considering it's nearly Ramadhan. I've wasted about four months of it anyway - haven't been there since March.

Treadmill kat rumah ajelah nampaknya.

Devil's Advocate : Haha. Really? :p

LAMAN 2008 - "Rhythm of Nature"

LAMAN 2008 PROMISES A BIGGER AND BETTER SHOWCASE OF LANDSCAPE AND GARDEN FESTIVAL

The biennial Malaysian International Landscape and Garden Festival or better known as LAMAN will be held from 19 July 2008 to 27 July 2008 at Taman Tasik Perdana, Kuala Lumpur. It promises a bigger and better showcase of landscape and garden show in terms of component and size.

This year's event, which is organised by the National Landscape Department, Ministry of Housing and Local Government and hosted by the City Hall of Kuala Lumpur will carry the theme "Rhythm of Nature".

"The theme will focus on nature and the environment, instilling a sense of love and appreciation of nature. With the recent highlights of the effects of global warming, it is timely that Malaysians as a community, jointly work together towards preserving nature in all its splendor for the benefit of future generations," said Dato' Hamzah Zainudin, Deputy Minister, Ministry of Housing and Local Government.

The Festival is aimed at

· enhancing the quality of the country's landscape development by creating awareness, interest and knowledge among the public on the art of landscaping and gardening,

· providing a platform to disseminate and acquiring the latest technology and designs in landscape and courtyard development as well as creating opportunities for the exchange of information among landscape operators,

· opening of new market opportunities for those involved in the landscape industry and helping to expand the industry specifically and creating economic growth generally,

· instilling a sense of bond between and among family members through the participation in the recreational activities held during the festival, and

· offering another tourism product for Kuala Lumpur in line with the City's aim to be one of the tourists' attractions in the region.

Open from 9.30am to 9.30pm daily, the 9 day festival will cover the 72 acres of park of Perdana Lake Gardens. Anticipated to be the biggest of all the previous festivals organized, it consists of various components : indoor as well as outdoors (please see attached). We are estimating 500,000 visitors throughout the event. Expected participants/ exhibitors – 200.

Tickets price : Adult (RM3), Children between 6 – 12 years old and students in school uniforms (RM1), children below 6 years and disabled are free.

SHOW COMPONENTS

OUTDOOR

1. World of Gardens (Competition)

This area comprises show gardens. Exhibitors will creatively construct and display show gardens that are unique, outstanding and complements the overall theme of the show – Rhythm of Nature

2. Garden Expo (Competition)

This area caters for the display and sale of plants, garden products and accessories, outdoor furniture, etc.

3. Festival Walk

This is a smaller retail area that allows for the sale of smaller items such as books, vases, flowers, etc

4. Environmental Art

University Competition Zone

INDOOR

1. Indoor Theme Garden (5 nos)

This area are gardens that are designed according to specific themes

2. International Showcase (10 nos)

This area introduces visitors to the varying types of landscapes from around the world.

3. Window of Seasons (5 nos)

The window displays depicts the landscape during 4 different seasons namely spring, summer, autumn, winter as well as a window on tropical paradise which shows a tropical landscape

4. 50/50 Showcase (5 nos )

These windows showcase the use of a combination flowers and fruits/vegetables in order to create a unique display that depicts the theme Rhythm of Nature.

5. Designer Sculpture (5 nos)

The designer will use flowers to create a sculpture of an image that can be readily identifiable.

6. Grand Entrance (5 nos)

The Grand entrance depicts the entrance to a home and the florist is charged with creating the most exciting, beautiful and welcoming entrance for visitors.

7. Designer Arrangement (20 nos)

Showcases the latest trend in floral arrangement and encourages the florist to showcase their skill and creativity.

For further information, please call :

Exhibitors/ participant - 03-78042155

Media – 019 6192668 Eja

choral speaking

remember, that venture of yesteryear?

(i wonder if they still conduct choral speaking competitions in schools these days)

the year was 1993.

the poem was 'Demolition Day'. initially we started practice with Roald Dahl's "Television", but somehow later along the way it was decided that we needed something more, ahem, 'action-packed'. hence, Demolition Day.

some of the lines -

a wedge of apple pie

the edge of the wedge is the edge of the sky

green, yellow, pink, tan, blue! (pink was my line)

bam! zam! boom!

we won.

oh, sweet, sweet victory.

faraway

As the van was coasting along the winding roads to Batu Feringghi, suddenly what hit me was - how much I miss you and wish you were here.

I really, really miss you. Gosh.

as the gondola passes by

[Venice, June 08]

Meeting And Passing

As I went down the hill along the wall
There was a gate I had leaned at for the view
And had just turned from when I first saw you
As you came up the hill. We met. But all
We did that day was mingle great and small
Footprints in summer dust as if we drew
The figure of our being less that two
But more than one as yet. Your parasol
Pointed the decimal off with one deep thrust.
And all the time we talked you seemed to see
Something down there to smile at in the dust.
(Oh, it was without prejudice to me!)
Afterward I went past what you had passed
Before we met and you what I had passed.

by : Robert Frost

crossroads

God, give me the strength to make the right decisions.

cerita makan

1. Kokopelli dah nak pindah tempat next month. But just nearby. They'll inform u later if u leave ur name and phone number in their book. I did.

2. The Subway outlet has opened in Amcorp Mall, but I've yet to get a toasted sub from there. Been meaning to.

3. Blueberry cheesecake can be lunch. Really.

4. The sup tulang that you can get from the van-stall besides the Taman Jaya lake, is chock-full of Ajinomoto, according to someone. Patut la sedap haha.

hari ini terusan mengalir tenang

- Buat apa? Research tak habis-habis?
+ Takde apa.
- Boing boing? Apa tu?
+ Interesting stuff. I'm bored. Bila Nevio nak datang ni?
- Dia kata lepas pukul 10. Lepas dah siap report semua.

Urgh. Menunggu langkah seterusnya itu sungguh bosan.


Nasib baik lepas tu Nevio belikan aku botol air Coke limited edition. Serta meyakinkan aku untuk dua kali memanjat tembok dan pagar untuk mendapatkan gambar yang menarik buat kenang-kenangan di bandar terusan itu. Klik. Jambatan. Klik. Tembok. Klik. Lukisan. Klik. Jambatan lagi. Klik. Gondola lalu. Klik. Bangunan tua. Klik. Burung-burung jinak hinggap di tangan. Klik. Alamak, bateri kamera habis!

Dan sebentar tadi kami ucapkan selamat kepada semua.

Selamat tinggal, Montecchio Maggiore.

P. Ramlee The Muzikale adalah best

29 Mei adalah tarikh Hari Seniman. Rupanya. Oh. Tapi saya kurang pasti lah pengisian sebenar untuk Hari Seniman itu. Cuma yang pasti ia bukan membawa kepada hari cuti umum. Oh, dangkalnya, asal 'Hari' istimewa, nak cuti. Heh.


Jadi pada eve Hari Seniman, saya menonton pertunjukan pembukaan P. Ramlee The Musical di Istana Budaya. Tagline nya adalah, Love, Life, Inspiration.


Best ke?


Mestilah. Best, ok. Best best best. Sila pergi tengok, pergi, pergi.

Kalau berbanding dengan musim pertama dulu? Ya, mesti nak banding. Inilah bane apabila sesuatu produk adalah bukan yang pertama.


Banding dengan yang pertama, kali ini ditiadakan babak-babak sewaktu P. Ramlee kecil, sebaliknya diteruskan apabila beliau telahpun menjadi seniman (menyanyi di pentas fun fair, sudah seniman, kah?). Dan ada penambahan beberapa babak. Aku tiada masalah dengan itu.


Ey, ada masalah kah? Erm, sebenarnya tiada.


Cuma.


Disebabkan aku dah menonton yang pertama, aku rasa lebih menikam P. Ramlee lakonan Sean Ghazi berbanding Musly Ramlee (trivia : mula-mula aku sangka dia ini juga anak kandung atau anak angkat P. Ramlee, tapi sebenarnya tak ada kaitan keluarga langsung, kebetulan saja nama bapa beliau Ramli, dan ejaan Ramlee itu digunakan 'for career purposes' katanya. ). Somehow aku rasa, apabila Musly me-P.Ramlee-kan dirinya, ia lebih kepada impersonation, tetapi bukan menjiwai..masih kurang. Tak dinafikan lagak gaya beliau, nyanyian lebih, mmg sangat-sangat mirip the real McCoy, tapi, apabila aku tonton teater, aku mahu.. jiwa. Soul. Aku rasa Sean Ghazi lebih dalam soulnya apabila beliau menjadi P. Ramlee.



Azizah - Siti Nurhaliza vs Emilda Rosmila.



Hey, Siti takleh pegang2. Sungguh terhad. Tapi menjadi aura Azizahnya. Emilda - boleh lentuk di bahu! Aura Azizahnya? Boleh lah...tapi sekali lagi somehow walaupun babak Azizah kali ini lebih panjang, lebih banyak dialog... tapi, masih...erm, ada kurang. Sorry, Adlin.

Melissa Saila sebagai Norizan - entrance beliau kali ini juga kurang menyengat berbanding musim dulu.

Lain-lain - okey okey lah. Babak favorite tetap babak P. Ramlee dan Saloma pertama kali menyatakan rasa cinta masing-masing. Pakaian - BETTER!!! Muzik sedikit bingit...mungkin sebab malam pertama. Saya harap semua maaslah teknikal dapat diselesaikan dalam persembahan selanjutnya.

Tapi apa pun, saya tak rasa rugi menontonnya.



-----------------------------

Al-Fatihah untuk Tan Sri P. Ramlee.

P. Ramlee The Musical

[ Pix source : Official Production Site ]

Was at the opening show last night. Came home almost 1 am and got a minor ticking off by Papito for not calling up to inform i'll be late. Hee. Sorry Abah.. lain kali tak buat lagi eh.

And yes, it was good. The play, I meant, not the ticking off.

There are things they did differently compared to the first run, some scenes were taken out and new ones added in, but all the main ingredients were there. Except for Sean Ghazi and Siti Nurhaliza (replaced by Musly Ramlee -no family relation to the late Tan Sri though-, and Emilda Rosmila).

Of course one can't help to do comparisons :)

Review coming.

kitchen tales

Next time, when the sausage package says "remove cellulose covering before cooking", do so.

Don't think it's not there just because you can't identify it when the sausages were still in frozen state. Don't think it'll simply melt away anyways.

Or you'll end up with evidence of one's culinary incompetence, as above.

Tight-wrapped sausages, anyone?

pemanasan tidak sekata

while eating Japanese -

me (pointing to the bubbling hotpot) :
"this portion is cooked but not that one. the heat dissipation of this thing, it's not uniform."

engineer buddy :
"hey, i thought you're not an engineer?"

eleh, what, only engineers can know a thing or two about heat dissipation, is it? moments like these amuse me. come on lah, it wasn't like i was spewing technicalities about the inner-workings of a rocket engine or explaining the concept of the national grid system.

misi tergendala

ekekekeke.

apa? 50kgs? yeah rite. current weight is definitely NOT that.

malas nak update sebab angkanya telah meningkat dengan jayanya kebelakangan ini.

gym? apa itu gym? alamak, membazir sungguh membership yang telah dibayar.

TOLONGG!!!!!!!

----------------------------------

on a.. erm... totally unrelated note, am so looking forward for this particular Subway outlet to open its doors :

have bagasi will travel

Am considering a new 3-day luggage piece. The trolley handle is a bit stiff now. The shoes are still good.

Have been doing a bit more of travel than the usual in the last couple of months and the bag has taken quite a beating. There's a bit of a sentimental value to this particular one - it's the first one I bought on my own and specifically for my very first work outstation trip in 2004. I can still remember it... the worrying over the fact I'll be the only lady in the group, the unsure-ness of how things would be, where I'm going exactly, what I'll be doing, etcetera, etcetera.

[the 2004 trip pix collage]

The gentlemen in the group, that particular one, and the many trips thereafter, have always taken good care of me.

The excitement of travel has always been a sure thing to make me geared up. Regardless of whether it's a new site or someplace I've been to before.

If there's one most important I've learnt is that to always, always make sure to bring along a pair of sturdy shoes. That's wajib. Can't be tottering in killer heels or cute ribbon sandals when your destination is 6km off the gravel road or 1 1/2 hours from the mainland shores.

---------------

However, am saying goodbye to most of the projects now due to the latest change of work function.

Will certainly be missing the good things that came along with it.

[bye-bye]

co-heat?

it's past 2 a.m i've just clicked on either the 'ignore' or 'accept' buttons of the numerous facebook apps i've received, lost count already. one can say Ted went facebook frenzy hahahahahaha. beratus2 request ntah apa2 tah.

music blasted occasionally from my cousin's notebook. we were the only ones still up in the house. surfing and getting lost in our own separate internet 'cocoon'. solidarity of the night-owls. thank god for broadband and wireless routers.

- "this is an awesome band lah. also, check out the lead singer's hair"
+ "apa nama dia?"
- "coheed and cambria"
+ " co-heat and comb here?"
- "coheed. and cambria"
+ "CO-HEAT?"
- "COHEED laaaa. C-O-H-E-E-D and C-A-M-B-R-I-A"
+ "oh. hehe"

mana la gua nak tau, kan?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

remembered that tomorrow i gotta be at the hotel as committee for the HAPUA event. eh, not tomorrow, it's actually later TODAY!

better go catch my Zzzzzs now.

hanya kawan

after so many years and so many missing appointments, out of the blue we managed to have lunch today.

the conversation we had was kinda surreal. despite the long absence, we didn't go the pick-up-where-we-left way, but more of a casual this-is-me-today-and-what-about-you.

i showed him pictures and video clips of my nephew. he showed me the ones of his kids. they're so cute. he told me about managing his staff workpay, and i told him about not understanding what power factor really is.

when we parted, i told him to send my regards to the wife.

-"she'd be angry if she knows i saw you. if she asks, i'll just tell her i had lunch with a friend"

+ "tell her not to worry, there's no competition. i'm not competing"

just stone the sinner

Bukan maksud ku
Bukan ingin ku melukaimu
Caci-maki saja diriku
Bila itu bisa membuatmu
Kembali bersinar
Dan berpijar seperti dulukala

-----------------------------------

This, will most probably be the last of it.

Not because I think it's not worth to pursue anymore, but because I don't know what else to do.
Because I believe that now, you are happier without me.

-----------------------------------

Because I know and realize you've been hurt really bad. Really, really bad.
By the things that had happened, which were added further on by me. By what I've said and done.

Perhaps most and foremost, of all things, the worst is the hurt by me. That's how it seems.

I don't know what else can I do to show you the regret.
How else can I apologize to you.
What would be the repentance you want to see.


I was told - No. Period.


All the moves I've made so far have been wrong, wrong, wrong. WRONG.

Under the circumstances, no, I can't blame you for not believing me. With all that hurt you've been through, the turmoil I've caused, how could I? If there's one thing you've told me, it's that everybody is entitled to what they're feeling and nobody should ever tell YOU that how you're feeling is not right.

So. As the song goes -
You can put the blame on me
You can put the blame on me
You can put the blame on me

----------------------------------------

Please be happy
For yourself :)

ini sudah lebeh!

Had full-fare Minang food for lunch, and still I could polish off a WHOLE packet of Oreo's afterwards! All this before it's even 2pm! I've also started again eating rice for dinner regardless of the time I got back home, i.e. even if it is already 11pm. Cannot tahan la seeing the fabulous lauks.

At the rate I'm going, I can forget lah the 2nd stage plan. Isk. Demmm.

Cemana ni? Cemana? Haa??

and perhaps

Dan
Bila esok datang kembali
Seperti sedia kala
Di mana kau bisa bercanda

Dan
Perlahan kau pun
Lupakan aku mimpi buruk mu
Dimana telah ku tancapkan duri tajam
Kau pun menangis menangis sedih
Maafkan aku

Dan
Bukan maksud ku
Bukan ingin ku melukaimu
Sedarkah kau di siniku pun terluka
Melupakanmu menepikanmu
Maafkan aku

Lupakanlah saja diriku
Bila itu bisa membuatmu
Kembali bersinar
Dan berpijar seperti dulu kala
Caci-maki saja diriku
Bila itu bisa membuatmu
Kembali bersinar
Dan berpijar seperti dulukala

- Sheila on 7

i came for the food

yeah, i came for the food last nite.

jco donuts, coq keria and karipap sardin. oh, and yummy home-made fudgy brownies.

after a long, hard day's work, who can resist that?

apa, diet?? erk... esok la kita sambung diet tu.

;)

i wanna see this!!

I hope tickets are still available. It's been quite a long time since I last saw one of these. Tak kira, this time, I will MAKE myself go!!!

unsaid

When the time is right, please tell me how far the distance, and how many steps it is this time, at least.

I care. So I tried to understand - that's why I looked it up. But moving further along the sideline, in dealing with my own issues, again I tripped and stumbled. And suddenly I found myself too far out and it's already too late.

--------------------------------------------

Be well, then. Really good to know you're doing fine, as fine as can be.

--------------------------------------------

May God help us both heal. In peace.
For I sorely need to stop these tears that keep on falling.

...............

dear _,

when i don't know, i can only guess. assume. you know i hate assuming.

because what i've learnt is that when i do the assuming, i can get things wrong. i've done that many times. make things worse. it's been proven.

that's why i always try to seek clarification. lay down the facts, the full story. you know that about me. rather than assume, i need to know what it is exactly.

but since you're not ready (i'm assuming here) to do so yet, it's not the right time yet, i suppose, i can only assume. so i assume it's about that npd thingy. or something i wrote in that card. or something i said on the phone yesterday morning.

please tell me which one, or if i'm wrong altogether even and it's something else entirely.

but if i'm right, then u must've had a thought about it that made u react that way. i would like to know that thought, so perhaps i could explain myself if i've conveyed a different message than what i really meant.

if i'm wrong about all of it, i hope u could tell me later what it was exactly.

at this point i hope i'm just plain over-reacting, as i'm wont to do these days, that i'm just perasan, as you know i'm prone to be.


much love, still.
A.

plunge

And again...it's a case of one thing leading to another and out of the line from my initial intentions, things turn into something else. That's why, once you decide to twist the lid open off any such can, you should be ready to face the consequences and realize that those worms might wriggle out and go everywhere instead of staying put right where you want them.

Last nite - I would've parked myself at the gate and waited outside the house till sunrise to face one part of my actions, but I knew that'd be exactly against her wishes. After biting my lips scribbling those two pages of post-its in the dark, I drove my way back with my mind swimming among the many uncertainties of the whole situation. Then the phone beeped and I prayed my utmost gratefulness when I read her message. Of course she has ALL the right to reject my call and to feel like she did, in consequence to how I've implicated her considering she has enough issues on her own. I do hope she was able to laugh as I suggested, or at least smile a bit, at my 'dodginess'.

Yes, I'll face it. Of course I will. I have to be responsible for the embers that I stoke.

Big heart. I'll try to face it with a big heart.

At this moment I do not know how it'll be come tomorrow and the day after, and the day after it.

So I pray that in this plunge, I'd be able to swim back safely to the shore in one piece, with my self-worth, sanity, trustability and heart all intact.

kosong

Kupandang itu
Bilikmu yang tersepi
Bagai hatiku.

----------------------------------------

p.s - aku baru habis baca Kasut Biru Rubina semalam (thanks, Aliya!). dan rupanya hari ni mereka di Amcorp Mall. pergilah dapatkan senaskhah. fiksyen pop untuk jiwa-jiwa hadhari, katanya.

p.p.s - tidak, tiada haiku dalam Kasut Biru Rubina. jadi apa kaitan dgn aku berhaiku? aku pun kurang pasti haha. mungkin sebab dah lemau buat budget jabatan.

p.p.p.s - yes, the above is dedicated to you.

a friend in need..

she was there when i needed her the most. she listened wholeheartedly to my silliness. her time was for me when i requested for it. she gave me the hugs i sorely needed and never once made me feel worthless even as i cried at my own stupidity.

and when today her frantic cries came, there is absolutely no question what i'm gonna do.

babe, of course i'll be there for you.

i might have a ton of work and that departmental budget needs to be completed, but i'd still make some time. for you.

[hugs]

so what else is new?

swamped, swamped, swamped.

boy i wish i have more time, as usual.

in the meantime, last week i had several fab birthday celebration(s) turning 29, voted during the 12th general election, and woken up to a new state govt.

oh! ada lagi!

later lah, heh.

the people has decided

Of course I've been glued to Malaysiakini.

And this is definitely a shocker!

"Unofficial: Opposition wins Selangor - 12.25am
Selangor has fallen into the hands of the opposition. PKR has earlier announced that its secretary-general Khalid Ibrahim will be named chief minister. In Selangor, DAP has taken 35 seats (DAP - 15, PKR - 11 and PAS - 9) out of the 56 seats in the state.Meanwhile, the opposition is also doing very well in Perak but it is still not clear how many of the 59 state seats it has won. The opposition has so far won Penang, Kedah, Selangor and Kelantan. "

and Ted turns....

29!

Each year my birthday celebration seems to get better and better :)

Thanks a bunch to all those who actually remembered, who remembered AND reminded everybody else, and last but not least even those who forgot BUT somebody else reminded them. And those who have no idea until i not-so-subtly told them hehehehe. Oh gosh, how I cherish each and every one of you!

And this is how I celebrated-

Day 1 : 'Pretend-ignore' breakfast, sushi lunch, scallops-and-calamari dinner (and bitching session), doughnuts pre-election chill session
Day 2 : To-die-for burger lunch, lobster dinner
Day 3 : Lunch-with-nature, and all-paid-for clothes shopping session!!

I also blew a candle on two different cake (okay it was always just a slice) , got surprised by pretty roses and the news of a party plan, made to carry a gift bag with a little pink bear dangling from it in Gardens, received loving hugs, real cards and virtual too, and had the birthday song sang to me in so many versions with the well-wishes.

Oh why why why don't birthdays fall twice in a year??? Oops, but if that is the case, I'd turn 58 already by this time hahahaha. Ok tak jadilah, cancel.

I'm still missing two important persons though - my sister (who would only be back from 'voting holiday' in Kedah next Tuesday), and B (who had to cancel our burger lunch to visit her sick godson).

But all in all, I had a blast!

revelations

i have no idea THAT's what i'm going to find out today.
sort of like, an early birthday present. gosh. but it's quite apt lah.

i don't know what to think.

will always give everyone the benefit of the doubt, though. as always.

at first i feel quite stupid, but then again, i HAVE had thoughts along that line all these while.

so, it's not like i've been wrong all along about it.

this is another moment when i hate to be right, although maybe only partly.

i'm glad i already made the right decision on who i'll be spending my time with for the next two nights.

saikos, believe me when i tell you WHY i put you guys on my priority list, hehe.

closure

I think I can stop crying now.

keretapi fikiran

1. sheltered

Sheltered and protected from the big, bad world.
From all the wolves in the woods, the dark of the night and the monsters under the bed.

Here's a line from an old-time commercial - "I don't wanna grow up...I'm a Toys-R-Us kid"

I think I can grow up a bit more.


2. Qs

/start rant

• why?
  

so be it. i'll try my best to not question anymore. we don't need more rhetorical, unanswerable Qs here. take it or leave it - my choice. i'll take it. as long as it's on the menu. like i always say - "i'm game!".

here's a line from the movie 'stuck on you' - "why deny deny deny? embrace!!"

/end rant


3. among the giants

there i was, alone among the gentlemen. one of them my own father. the others, most i've called 'uncle' ever since, but now a couple are relegated to first-name basis at times. the dato' chairman asked me to take the floor. having them listen to me and my ideas, it was the first time in many years that i really felt like an equal in that particular situation. i stated the case. they listened. points debated, and we came to an agreement. a conclusion. more work after this.

it was nice having them giving me an honest pat on the back. made the effort really worthwhile.

here's a line from the movie 'night at the museum' - "some people are born great. others have greatness thrust upon them"

this is how these things happen, i suppose. along the course of my life, i'm more that type - the type that somehow get things thrust upon them rather than being the ones that chart and track new courses on their own. but does that mean what i do is less worthy in comparison? no! i don't think so!


4. the new candidate

yeah i've known that she's involved in politics, but just like that lah, so it still it amuses me a bit to look at that smiling face staring from the saturday newspaper, featuring the full-page interview about her nomination as the party's constituency candidate.

because the first time we met some months ago, we talked about harry potter and the cartoons that her 4-yr-old daughter loves, and the fact that she's been on diet. and whenever she was spoken about by her brother, it was often with candid remarks as a much beloved manja little sister.

anyways, are we all ready for the coming elections yet?

here's a line from that RTM song - "Marilah mari..kita mengundi.. jangan lupa kewajipan.. pada negara!"

the river dam

i have never cried like this about anything else and i still can't stop.

i cried again last night.
thrice. during the movie, right after it, and on the way back.

and i cried again today.

i once heard that the most you can cry about something is 21 times, and after that you won't be able to anymore and you'll find peace because after that it will all be 'spent'.

bullshit.

i've been crying since december.

giving back

it seems i'm always at the receiving end. that's not fair now, is it?

all i gave back in return for the niceties are my silly companionship when he wants it, an opinion if he asks for one and a thesaurus at hand during the times he's loss for words that keep slipping off the tip of his tongue.

must be the thesaurus-search service then that balances it off. hehe.

insubordinasi

"So, surat semalam, macam mana? Dah buat? No, it's not on my desk anymore, you must've taken it. You're supposed to do it, right? Do you have all the info?"

Bukan, aku bukan cakap dengan kerani aku.

Abah kata, aku ini, insubordination.

Aku kata, I'm making him do his job.

swigging from a Sigg

What I'd really love to have, is one of these :

A Sigg Hot/Cold with an active cap. Oh!

----------------------------------------------------

Over the last week I've had many of the things I shouldn't, well not if I want to reach my target body fat percentage. Things like numerous plates of rice with sambal udang, nasi lemak, a double cheeseburger, McD's Prosperity foldover burger, currypuffs, sugar doughnuts, cinnamon rolls, slices of pizza, servings of twisty fries, etc. etc.

Aisey, and I've been missing many of the gym sessions too!

The Get-Fit police should come and arrest me.

what's the day again?

Happy Singles Awareness Day!

(yeah, the day that us singles are reminded that we're, well, single, hehe)

gallantry

"I'll leave you at the lift there and you wait for me to park the car ok.

It doesn't matter if I get wet, but not you".

"Are you okay? Let me give you a hand. There."

"Where are you now? Walking? I'm coming over to pick you up!"

" So tell me what would you like."

"What can I do for you, lady?"

"I'm here to cheer you up."

"Let me get it."

"Don't you worry, just leave it all to me."

--------------------

It's rather nice, actually, when they do that. For all my independent-tough-gal exterior all this while, I think I quite like it too when they want to do it all. I just need practice.


For in the past, my typical response to the above would be:

I don't mind at all / It's ok / No thanks I could do it myself / It's ok don't bother / I don't need help

Now? I'll be saying :

Yes please. Thank you. I appreciate that.


Oh gosh, I'm conforming!

not just a game

I think I'm drowning
Asphyxiated
I want to break the spell
That you've created

You're something beautiful
A contradiction
I wanna play the game
I want the friction

You
Will be the death of me
Yeah, you
Will be the death of me

Bury it
I won't let you bury it
I won't let you smother it
I won't let you murder it

But our time is running out
But our time is running out
You can't push it underground
You can't stop me screaming out

I wanted freedom
Bound and restricted
I tried to give you up
But I'm addicted

Now that you know I'm trapped
Sense of elation
You'd never dream of
Breaking this fixation

You
Will squeeze the life out of me

How did it come to this?

- Muse, "Time Is Running Out"

Note to self :

1. It's a dangerous game. Haven't you noticed, as yet?
Are you sure you want to go on?
Are you sure you can take whatever comes?

2. Well, I did say I want to be reckless from now on. So. What the heck. Gimme.

3. At the end of the day, it wouldn't matter but to me.

4. At the end of the day, I might (and most possibly will) lose. So.

5. Silver linings aren't that bad, considering. Even that is enough to make me happy :)