Tuesday, September 30, 2008

the point is?

haih. dia buat lagi perangai lamanya.
dan aku memutuskan untuk bermain malam ini.

tapi sekejap saja.
tak kuasa eh. esok hari raya.

lagipun ia pointless. sekadar saja suka-suka.

no strings attached.

Thursday, September 25, 2008



..I'm not.

Far from it.

I try to be the best that I could, though.

Sometimes I get unnerved by the expectations. Yours. Theirs.

Nobody's perfect.

We all just try to be the best that we could.

And then there's acceptance.


Sometimes it feels like there's an Improve-Ted-Committee(TM) around.

Hey, I try, okay!

Thanks for your concern. Your comments are noted.


This Ramadhan I observed changes in several people close to me. Some are quite surprising ones, whereas the rest are those I've expected to happen in due course of time.

Nonetheless they're all changes for the better. Alhamdulillah.

I guess they must have their own Improve-X-Committee(TM) around too.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

it's the weekend!

i simply love weekends now! only now i really understand what Mel meant when she always tell me how she live basically for the weekends.

one part of the old job that i totally don't miss at all - having to go to the office on the weekends due to the awfully heavy workload. sometimes i even spend all SEVEN days of the week at the office. gosh, i was that bad. urrgh.

can't remember the last time i did that anymore.

these days, during the work-week, the concentration go towards work of course, but once the weekend roll over...it seems to me that what happened from monday to friday was reduced to a blur. the memories of saturdays and sundays are much more clearer in my head haha.


oh, and on weekends the 'routine' continues. with mms - the distance seem like nothing.


so definitely. weekends are way more syiok than other days.

monday to friday are workdays, work work work.

lepas itu weekend comes wee-hoo!

p/s - the last 3 weekends (including this one!) are all shopping weekends. adoi. habih RM.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Breaking All The Rules

Layan lagu zaman nineties jom.

If you want it slowly don't knock on my door
'Cause I want it all and a little bit more
If you want to go anywhere just let me know when
'Cause I want to be there again and again
Now I know the time is right and I can't wait another night
Love will never turn back around

Breaking all the rules when we get together
Anything at all are you ready to do
Breaking all the rules we can run away just me and you
Oh oh oh oh

Now that we're going, let's go all the way
Nobody can stop us I don't care what they say
I'll take you places that you've never known
Don't look behind you are you ready to go
Now I know the time is right and I can't wait another night
Love will never turn back around

I put my mind on the go because this feeling I know
Is never gonna'go away
And everybody around me has nothing to say
I'm just a runaway

-She Moves, 1997

et tu?

i joked to K that he should take me out for buka puasa.

he gestured and asked, "should i get anybody's permission first?"

i told him - i'm my own woman lah!

sheesh. perlu keluarkan pekeliling kat diorang semua ni kut? or at least a nota makluman?

and then...

it's beginning to become a routine. our routine.

the smattering of smses and / or emails throughout the day.
asking each other 'so what's for buka puasa today?' during the journey back home.
the customary long call on the weekend.

i can do routine.

the thing with a routine is - you begin to start expecting things to come a particular way, regardless of the fact that nobody said anything about anyone having to do whatever.

that's the thing.
you just settle yourself in, the things you do becoming the things you always do.

routine is okay.

it's just the not-expecting part i gotta be careful with.

it's not cast in stone, kay? breaks from the routine is ok too.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

life lesson number entah

maka apabila sedang shopping baju raya dan didapati di sebuah kedai itu apabila dicuba sahaja bajunya saiz kena dan asyik nampak cantik dan cantik sahaja berhentilah try baju-baju di situ selepas menjumpai sepasang dengan warna tema keluarga yang telah dipersetujui or else maka bakal terjadilah kejadian almostmenghabisspendkan bonus raya yang tak sampai setengah bulan pun kepada pembelian baju raya sahaja dan belum termasuk bajet untuk perkara-perkara lain lagi

Sunday, September 14, 2008


you told me that time, 'don't get too cosy, ok'.

ala, i know lah.

at this point, takde maknanya nak cosy lebih-lebih sgt dgn you pun :p

but i appreciate everything, tau.


like i told you.

he asked me, who are you to me and whether you are my .....?

at that time i didn't really wanna say it as by saying 'yes' will put you in a category.

because if i put you there, now what? so what?
are there things i'm supposed to do because you're that?
am i supposed to start expecting something, because you're that?
so, will you have to start conforming to what it's supposed to be?

i think we'll just wing it lah.

so, are we?

eheh. yeah. just at the moment, kan? let's seize the moment :)

esok lusa we don't know yet. so i'll settle for now.

until then.


you ticked me off about it. that hurts, a bit, at first.

but what you said last was such a salvo.

thanks, as always.

i'll try.

remember the time we laughed our heads off talking about what people say about us?

that's how it is, isn't it?

at the end of the day, all that matters is what each of us really meant to.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

that time of the year again

Yeap, it's that time of the year again (eh berapa banyak 'that time of the year' dah ada daa)

Which one?

This one laaaa!

Finally completed tabulating everything to the Boss this morning. Well, I can't say 'THE' Boss, as mid-year I've transferred to another Section and thus, a change in the immediate boss as well. This resulted in my KPIs, which were set at the beginning of the year by Boss A as being in Boss B's hands at the end of it. And as the transition period took longer than usual due to the replacement being a fresh trainee (training pun tak habih lagi, tengah2 tu dia kena pegi kursus pulak, yang dua-tiga hari ada, yang dua-tiga minggu pun ada), it resulted in me not being able to practically set any KPI with Boss B for the remaining of the year, despite the fact that officially my transfer took place exactly in the middle of the year.

Haih. Anyways. Dengan Boss B ni takde susah2. He simply asked me to do my KPI rating with Boss A and get it signed, and he'll key in whatever Boss A agreed to. Eheh.

Have to admit during the year I was just busy-busy-busy doing things that's supposed to be done as they come along, and didn't really take much time in revisiting the set KPIs or reviewing the progress specifically to see whether we're on track. Tadak masa la (alasan!). Was quite worried while sitting down and looking at it again in the beginning after the company email sent out notification for everybody to log in to the system and start keying in their KPI ratings. I went like 'erk shucks, tercapai ke percentage2 yang aku dah set nih semua haaa??? omg look at the dates, aiyoh, when did we finally complete those reports and stuff haaaa??' Nak 'bega-bega' sangat pun tak boleh, coz it was mostly set with clear quantifiable targets and all.

So several hours within last two days (ewah ada pulak time yg boleh di-freekan hehe) were spent sifting through the project files getting the data for each necessary KPI items - all 11 of them. Tak cukup lagi. Boss A wanted list of this and that to back up the figures. Iyelah, kalau kena query, senang dia backup. Year-end status...project figures..claim figures..submission dates... list of issues...etc etc.

Looking at the end result, I was happy to note that hey, we've actually managed to capture the year's activities quite extensively. Well, after all it was the THIRD year already. I could still remember doing the first year's KPIs - at the end of the year, we realized that some of it were not really quantifiable, several rather time-consuming tasks weren't covered in any of the targets, some targets were set rather TOO ambitiously etc etc. I tell you, bukan semudah tu beb nak buat KPI nih. Putting the weightage to each item is another mini-nightmare - you don't really record the number of hours you spend on each function, and how in the world do you quantify the effort level for the tasks and then relate to the magnitude of its importance and impact? For example, one function may result in a three-page final RM7mil contract but would've taken three months of preparing the necessary paperwork for approvals and going through the negotiation process at both internal and external sides; while another function may involve about an hour for data verification and preparation of invoice each month but brings in a total of RM13mil for the year - so how best to determine what percentage goes to each? It's all between you and the boss to consider, ponder, pening2 kepala pikir and finally agree, these things.

And finally, the time comes - Tada! Silakan membuat pemarkahan anda.


What can I say is all the late hours slogged, the weekends spent at the office, the distance traveled to the project sites, the stress of chasing after counterparts in the State/subsidiary offices and of being chased by the Corporate/CEO/VP's offices etc etc are finally translated into that single figure with dua tempat perpuluhan - and it was a satisfactory one.

Of course, it's still subject to final moderation by the top guns (which I hope mine won't be touched lah - unless to moderate UP hehehe sapa taknak) - but at the moment..

Okaylah. Not so bad. Alhamdulillah.

next - waiting for the result post-moderation and announcement of company bonus
kalau tak banyak, sikit, tapi mesti ada :)

Monday, September 01, 2008


all of a sudden, a few hours till the first sahur session this year and i felt like having some oreos!

i blame sm for this post.

i can't remember how i came about to make oreo's the official snack whenever i go for a snorkeling trip. was it during the first time i put on a snorkeling mask in tioman? or was it that trip to redang with our indonesian relatives? whichever it was, by the time perhentian and kapas came into the picture, packs of oreo' were part of the necessities, alongside sunblock, playing cards and travel scrabble. oh, please note that fish has no interest in them chocolatey-biccies. dia buat tak heran je. kalau roti, yes.

oreo's in cheesecakes and other desserts also will always catch my fancy. oreo's in ice-cream, especially. oh, heaven!

there are many who tried to emulate the chocolatey-cream-sandwich goodness of oreo's, but the original is still what i go for. takmau yang tiruan!

by the way, yeah, selamat berpuasa okeys y'all.