Thursday, December 06, 2007

1. recovery

The word we're looking at, here, is SCARLESS HEALING. Shingles blisters are supposed to heal SCARLESSLY. Supposedly, lah.

Except for Nerr ("I know from reading British books") and Biah ("a friend of mine got it too last time"), everybody else replied STD (!) when I asked them the first thing that came to mind about it. Cheis, hangguk korang. Kita nampaknya perlu lebih banyak membaca lagi, okay.

2. sweating it out

Am officially made of 31.7% fat at the moment. That's about 16kgs of layers and clumps of gooey adipose tissue. Urgh. Let's see how things are in a couple of months' time. First stage target = 29%. Ultimate target will be 27%. It's a painful and tiring journey but thanks to the pleasant view of beefcakes and hardbodies in the gym, shall trudge on week in and out.

And I've never seen a person who berpeluhs as much as Raymond, the instructor who by the time the cardio martial arts dance class ends, will always manage to spatter half the stage with his sweat and there'll be trails of it too wherever he circled the studio to check that we're doing the moves right. The best thing about his classes is that it seems to be the ones getting the least attendees so there's more space to move around. He commented "Here the studio is big but not many people come for my class, tak tahu kenapa". I did some asking around and apparently they shy away because his classes are 'too intense' and 'belum larat'. Well, their loss are my gain! I simply love his Powerfit classes - never thought you could do fun music routines with weight bars before. This week I was pleasantly surprised when Raymond stopped me from taking the weight disks off after the biceps round and said it's time for me to go for double all the way instead of the usual single disk. So I did (mesti la, mau tunjuk macho woo), and was again surprised that I didn't find them as hard as I thought it was gonna be. Look, Ma, I'm building muscles!

3. emo emo emo

During our impromptu dinner at Chili's (they must've regretted the day bottomless tostados chips was introduced to the menu - we had FOUR refills), Jaja and Kekure commented, "Ted, apsal blog ko sekarang asyik cerita emo je? Bosan ok"

Ah well, once in while everybody should be entitled to some emo time. Ok what. It's in the package of being a Piscean - we're stable and low-key most of the time, but once in a while when the emotions kick in, it'll be a tidal wave and there's no holding back! But afterwards the calm will set in again, no worries. Until the next time lah. Ahaha.

4. closing on with matters of the heart

When it comes to this, practicality, logic, reason and common sense will compete with each other, entwine themselves and become engulfed with that thing by which we go by the name of feelings. Of which there are no set or by-the-book guides, no benchmark standards, no hard rules, no universally-accepted boundaries but the ones that we impose on ourselves.

Until the episode of Mr. E, I've not known the depths by which I could, and would, go through with. And of what I'm capable of in terms of dealing with situations in the most altruistic sense.

I didn't believe in a lot of silly things regarding love before.
About being blind, about being crazy, about pushing the limits, about letting it all go, about priorities, about losing your head, about sacrifice, about the happiness and the hurt, about the acceptance.

I do now.

There are no regrets here.
If only I could tell him how much he had taught me.
If only I could let him know that weird as it may sound, I am still thankful.
For the chance to discover myself.

I think I shall try to be even more reckless in the future.

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