not just a game

I think I'm drowning
Asphyxiated
I want to break the spell
That you've created

You're something beautiful
A contradiction
I wanna play the game
I want the friction

You
Will be the death of me
Yeah, you
Will be the death of me

Bury it
I won't let you bury it
I won't let you smother it
I won't let you murder it

But our time is running out
But our time is running out
You can't push it underground
You can't stop me screaming out

I wanted freedom
Bound and restricted
I tried to give you up
But I'm addicted

Now that you know I'm trapped
Sense of elation
You'd never dream of
Breaking this fixation

You
Will squeeze the life out of me

How did it come to this?

- Muse, "Time Is Running Out"

Note to self :

1. It's a dangerous game. Haven't you noticed, as yet?
Are you sure you want to go on?
Are you sure you can take whatever comes?

2. Well, I did say I want to be reckless from now on. So. What the heck. Gimme.

3. At the end of the day, it wouldn't matter but to me.

4. At the end of the day, I might (and most possibly will) lose. So.

5. Silver linings aren't that bad, considering. Even that is enough to make me happy :)

wonder

..and sometimes I wonder -

while you were sending me those SMS-es saying you missed me and the things we did when we were together, what was your wife and two kids doing at that moment?

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Err.. no no no no no, I'm not involved with a married man. NO. Not that.

It's just.. well, it's kinda complicated.

There's guilt somewhere there.

Is it possible to feel that someone is your soulmate, and yet there is no way you'd get together, not ever? Not if I can help it. So what's the point then?

I do not intend to burn myself with this bonfire.

dia cuti

Kerani kat Seksyen aku, Neasa, cuti minggu ni sampai Khamis untuk perayaan Thaipusam.

Macam ni lah kalau dah dapat staff yang okey. Serius sey tak lengkap hidup rasanya dia takde lama2 camni hehe. Semua benda kecik ke besar ke kena buat sendiri. Memanglah boleh nak mintak tolong pada staff yang lain, tapi sekarang ni memang staff kat sini tak cukup pun dan ada sesetengah benda yang memang Neasa handle exclusively, kalau nak mintak orang lain buat, nak kena mengajo pulak dah satu hal. Isk, aku tetiba imagine kalau la buatnya dia cuti bersalin, macam si Syahada staff kat unit Biah, atau kata la dia ambik cuti tanpa gaji berbulan-bulan macam Hazila. Huih patah tongkat la aku...

Neasa, my darling, cepat la masuk kerja balik, invois ada sebeban tu atas meja nak kena key-in sebelum hantar naik atas untuk payment...

remember this day

Initial damage control, failed.

100% MY MISTAKE. I shouldn't have delayed my actions. I should've done it yesterday, but why why whyyyyyyy I just had to wait until this morning. And by then the course of damage has already been set in motion.

Oh gosh.

Let's hope it'll just be a little ripple in the teacup and no more. Please, God.

Boss, I am so sorry.

Let this be my lesson.

Sheila Majid in Concert

(an effort to raise funds for the IJN Foundation)

Peeps, it's an opportunity to do contribute towards charity while having a great, fantabulous time watching Malaysia's jazz queen, Sheila Majid croon the night away with her lovely vocals.

Tickets for the Concert are priced at RM150, RM200, RM250, RM280 and RM350. You can purchase the tickets by calling:

· the call centre at 03-26178200 and 03-41498600 (during office hours)

· the 24-hour hotline number at 03-20911666,

· Tickets can also be purchased on-line at www.ticket2u.biz,

· Members of the IJN Foundation will enjoy a 10% discount

· There are also corporate packages for block booking.

For further information on the Concert and the tickets, please call the IJN Foundation at 03-26178200 extn 3155 or 26178315 or the producer, Eja Ibrahim of SKI Productions at 019-6192668.

Production team :

Alawiyah Yussof (Executive Producer)

Kamal Affandi Hassan (Producer)

Siti Khadijah Ibr ahim, Eja ( Co-Producer/ Director )

Hashridz Murshim Hassim, Acis (Music Director)

Rahmad Ayob (Technical Director)

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The IJN Foundation – a charitable non-profit organisation with tax exemption was established in 1995 by the Institut Jantung Negara (IJN) to raise funds for the benefit of the Institute and its care for heart patients.

Every year, the IJN Foundation needs at least RM1.5 million to fund for the treatment charges of needy heart patients. In 2006, a total of RM1,374,155.38 was spent to fund 76 poor heart patients; both adults and children to undergo surgery and treatment at the IJN. This included the follow-up outpatient treatment charges for seven heart transplant patients and the surgery cost to implant a mechanical heart device on a patient who was suffering from end-stage heart disease.

punch! / kebun

Oh, Raymond got me to punch him last week.

Of course I happily obliged! To punch Raymond has been my wish ever since I attended the first class. Really, really gave it to him as hard as I could till my knuckles hurt. Heheh. Well my hands might be small but this girl's punches are definitely ain't wimpy ones, far from it, sir. I think he was pleased.

That felt good.

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The parental units are spending the whole weekend at the kebun. We always joke that they should consider staying there when (and if) both of them finally retire from the working world. Abah just love doing kebun things, and Mama, well, despite being a town girl at heart, she also enjoys the nature much and has been involved with the kebun project since day one. And it's just so delightful for the doting grandparents to see that little Aqif likes being at the kebun too - he would excitedly play with the fish caught from the stream, run around the compound and has even taken a dunk in the pond once!

Everytime the kebun is discussed, there'll new plans to upgrade the little pondok we got there. From a simple outdoor area with just a zink roof over it and a wooden platform, now it's a half-brick one-room building with a small kitchen, a shower and a toilet. With electricity, ok. I won't be surprised if one day we'll even have Astro installed, with the complete movie package. Haha.

Happy New Year!!!

Hey look! 2008 is here!

On the first day of the new year, I did the above. Heh. Ta-da!!

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2007 had been a very fulfilling year, with its ups and downs, highs and lows etc etc. Some are things that will be played over and over again down my memory lane, some that taught me mighty valuable lessons in life, some are things I know now should've been done differently, some are stuff that I should've known better, and some are things that I wouldn't mind doing all over again. Part and parcel... part and parcel... of growing up.

The phone trilled its many new year wishes last night right to the moment before the year ticked its last second, to which I replied to everybody with "so where's the bash?". Hmm.. quite a number of diverse and interesting answers to that LOL.

Thank you to all for being a part of my 2007, now let's make 2008 an even more friggin' fantastic year!

P.s - Azlina, curik kata2 ko... jgn marah!