just stone the sinner

Bukan maksud ku
Bukan ingin ku melukaimu
Caci-maki saja diriku
Bila itu bisa membuatmu
Kembali bersinar
Dan berpijar seperti dulukala

-----------------------------------

This, will most probably be the last of it.

Not because I think it's not worth to pursue anymore, but because I don't know what else to do.
Because I believe that now, you are happier without me.

-----------------------------------

Because I know and realize you've been hurt really bad. Really, really bad.
By the things that had happened, which were added further on by me. By what I've said and done.

Perhaps most and foremost, of all things, the worst is the hurt by me. That's how it seems.

I don't know what else can I do to show you the regret.
How else can I apologize to you.
What would be the repentance you want to see.


I was told - No. Period.


All the moves I've made so far have been wrong, wrong, wrong. WRONG.

Under the circumstances, no, I can't blame you for not believing me. With all that hurt you've been through, the turmoil I've caused, how could I? If there's one thing you've told me, it's that everybody is entitled to what they're feeling and nobody should ever tell YOU that how you're feeling is not right.

So. As the song goes -
You can put the blame on me
You can put the blame on me
You can put the blame on me

----------------------------------------

Please be happy
For yourself :)

ini sudah lebeh!

Had full-fare Minang food for lunch, and still I could polish off a WHOLE packet of Oreo's afterwards! All this before it's even 2pm! I've also started again eating rice for dinner regardless of the time I got back home, i.e. even if it is already 11pm. Cannot tahan la seeing the fabulous lauks.

At the rate I'm going, I can forget lah the 2nd stage plan. Isk. Demmm.

Cemana ni? Cemana? Haa??

and perhaps

Dan
Bila esok datang kembali
Seperti sedia kala
Di mana kau bisa bercanda

Dan
Perlahan kau pun
Lupakan aku mimpi buruk mu
Dimana telah ku tancapkan duri tajam
Kau pun menangis menangis sedih
Maafkan aku

Dan
Bukan maksud ku
Bukan ingin ku melukaimu
Sedarkah kau di siniku pun terluka
Melupakanmu menepikanmu
Maafkan aku

Lupakanlah saja diriku
Bila itu bisa membuatmu
Kembali bersinar
Dan berpijar seperti dulu kala
Caci-maki saja diriku
Bila itu bisa membuatmu
Kembali bersinar
Dan berpijar seperti dulukala

- Sheila on 7

i came for the food

yeah, i came for the food last nite.

jco donuts, coq keria and karipap sardin. oh, and yummy home-made fudgy brownies.

after a long, hard day's work, who can resist that?

apa, diet?? erk... esok la kita sambung diet tu.

;)

i wanna see this!!

I hope tickets are still available. It's been quite a long time since I last saw one of these. Tak kira, this time, I will MAKE myself go!!!

unsaid

When the time is right, please tell me how far the distance, and how many steps it is this time, at least.

I care. So I tried to understand - that's why I looked it up. But moving further along the sideline, in dealing with my own issues, again I tripped and stumbled. And suddenly I found myself too far out and it's already too late.

--------------------------------------------

Be well, then. Really good to know you're doing fine, as fine as can be.

--------------------------------------------

May God help us both heal. In peace.
For I sorely need to stop these tears that keep on falling.

...............

dear _,

when i don't know, i can only guess. assume. you know i hate assuming.

because what i've learnt is that when i do the assuming, i can get things wrong. i've done that many times. make things worse. it's been proven.

that's why i always try to seek clarification. lay down the facts, the full story. you know that about me. rather than assume, i need to know what it is exactly.

but since you're not ready (i'm assuming here) to do so yet, it's not the right time yet, i suppose, i can only assume. so i assume it's about that npd thingy. or something i wrote in that card. or something i said on the phone yesterday morning.

please tell me which one, or if i'm wrong altogether even and it's something else entirely.

but if i'm right, then u must've had a thought about it that made u react that way. i would like to know that thought, so perhaps i could explain myself if i've conveyed a different message than what i really meant.

if i'm wrong about all of it, i hope u could tell me later what it was exactly.

at this point i hope i'm just plain over-reacting, as i'm wont to do these days, that i'm just perasan, as you know i'm prone to be.


much love, still.
A.