Sunday, April 27, 2014

The one about this hurt I feel inside

Love hurts, love scars, love wounds
And mars, any heart
Not tough or strong enough
To take a lot of pain, take a lot of pain
Love is like a cloud
Holds a lot of rain
Love hurts......ooh, ooh love hurts








Ah, being forgetful as I am, chances are, when I re-read this again a couple of years from now, I'm going to forget who or what exactly made me feel this way.

But for now, it hurts to realise how you've been deceived by your own foolishness into thinking you mean more to somebody whom obviously does not look at it the same way.

It's almost 2 months past since my birthday this year. 
A lot has happened since then. And didn't.

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Those who really know me will know how much birthdays hold a special place in my heart. I simply loveee celebrating not just mine, but others' birthdays as well. Oh I had a great time coordinating a number of birthday dos last time, indeed I did.

These days though, I will mostly brush birthdays off, save for family members and a few close friends. 

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Letting go is still one of the hardest things for me to do, although I do think I'm getting better at it now. God knows how many people I've let go over the recent years, and I found it was indeed the best to not hold on when the other party clearly don't care anymore.

I used to fight in those situations, gosh how much I used to fight to hold on even when things seem the darkest and bleakest and still hope for the best.

These days - I will just hold on  only as much as the other one does. And if they want to leave, chances are I will go and open the door myself.

For I have learnt that nothing is this world belongs to me, while everything belongs to the Almighty.

So who am I to cling on when He decides it's time for us to part ways for now or forever?

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Holler, and I will come if I could.

But only if I want to.

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