closure

I think I can stop crying now.

keretapi fikiran

1. sheltered

Sheltered and protected from the big, bad world.
From all the wolves in the woods, the dark of the night and the monsters under the bed.

Here's a line from an old-time commercial - "I don't wanna grow up...I'm a Toys-R-Us kid"

I think I can grow up a bit more.


2. Qs

/start rant

• why?
  

so be it. i'll try my best to not question anymore. we don't need more rhetorical, unanswerable Qs here. take it or leave it - my choice. i'll take it. as long as it's on the menu. like i always say - "i'm game!".

here's a line from the movie 'stuck on you' - "why deny deny deny? embrace!!"

/end rant


3. among the giants

there i was, alone among the gentlemen. one of them my own father. the others, most i've called 'uncle' ever since, but now a couple are relegated to first-name basis at times. the dato' chairman asked me to take the floor. having them listen to me and my ideas, it was the first time in many years that i really felt like an equal in that particular situation. i stated the case. they listened. points debated, and we came to an agreement. a conclusion. more work after this.

it was nice having them giving me an honest pat on the back. made the effort really worthwhile.

here's a line from the movie 'night at the museum' - "some people are born great. others have greatness thrust upon them"

this is how these things happen, i suppose. along the course of my life, i'm more that type - the type that somehow get things thrust upon them rather than being the ones that chart and track new courses on their own. but does that mean what i do is less worthy in comparison? no! i don't think so!


4. the new candidate

yeah i've known that she's involved in politics, but just like that lah, so it still it amuses me a bit to look at that smiling face staring from the saturday newspaper, featuring the full-page interview about her nomination as the party's constituency candidate.

because the first time we met some months ago, we talked about harry potter and the cartoons that her 4-yr-old daughter loves, and the fact that she's been on diet. and whenever she was spoken about by her brother, it was often with candid remarks as a much beloved manja little sister.

anyways, are we all ready for the coming elections yet?

here's a line from that RTM song - "Marilah mari..kita mengundi.. jangan lupa kewajipan.. pada negara!"

the river dam

i have never cried like this about anything else and i still can't stop.

i cried again last night.
thrice. during the movie, right after it, and on the way back.

and i cried again today.

i once heard that the most you can cry about something is 21 times, and after that you won't be able to anymore and you'll find peace because after that it will all be 'spent'.

bullshit.

i've been crying since december.

giving back

it seems i'm always at the receiving end. that's not fair now, is it?

all i gave back in return for the niceties are my silly companionship when he wants it, an opinion if he asks for one and a thesaurus at hand during the times he's loss for words that keep slipping off the tip of his tongue.

must be the thesaurus-search service then that balances it off. hehe.

insubordinasi

"So, surat semalam, macam mana? Dah buat? No, it's not on my desk anymore, you must've taken it. You're supposed to do it, right? Do you have all the info?"

Bukan, aku bukan cakap dengan kerani aku.

Abah kata, aku ini, insubordination.

Aku kata, I'm making him do his job.

swigging from a Sigg

What I'd really love to have, is one of these :

A Sigg Hot/Cold with an active cap. Oh!

----------------------------------------------------

Over the last week I've had many of the things I shouldn't, well not if I want to reach my target body fat percentage. Things like numerous plates of rice with sambal udang, nasi lemak, a double cheeseburger, McD's Prosperity foldover burger, currypuffs, sugar doughnuts, cinnamon rolls, slices of pizza, servings of twisty fries, etc. etc.

Aisey, and I've been missing many of the gym sessions too!

The Get-Fit police should come and arrest me.

what's the day again?

Happy Singles Awareness Day!

(yeah, the day that us singles are reminded that we're, well, single, hehe)

gallantry

"I'll leave you at the lift there and you wait for me to park the car ok.

It doesn't matter if I get wet, but not you".

"Are you okay? Let me give you a hand. There."

"Where are you now? Walking? I'm coming over to pick you up!"

" So tell me what would you like."

"What can I do for you, lady?"

"I'm here to cheer you up."

"Let me get it."

"Don't you worry, just leave it all to me."

--------------------

It's rather nice, actually, when they do that. For all my independent-tough-gal exterior all this while, I think I quite like it too when they want to do it all. I just need practice.


For in the past, my typical response to the above would be:

I don't mind at all / It's ok / No thanks I could do it myself / It's ok don't bother / I don't need help

Now? I'll be saying :

Yes please. Thank you. I appreciate that.


Oh gosh, I'm conforming!