Thursday, February 05, 2009

to lose somebody

This is for my people who just lost somebody
Your best friend, your baby, your man, or your lady
Put your hand way up high
We will never say bye (no, no, no)
Mamas, daddies, sisters, brothers, friends and cousins
This is for my people who lost their grandmothers
Lift your head to the sky ‘cause we will never say bye

As a child there were them times
I didn’t get it but you kept me in line
I didn’t know why you didn’t show up sometimes
On sunday mornings and I missed you
But when we talked too
All them grown full things
Separation brings
You never let me know it
You never let it show because
You loved me and obviously
There’s so much more left to say
If you were with me today face to face

I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on like
“I wish I could talk to you for awhile”
“I wish I could find a way try not to cry”
As time goes by
And soon as you reach a better place
Still I’ll give the whole world to see your face
And I’m bragging right next to you
It feels like you gone too soon
The hardest thing to do is say bye bye

By-Bye By-bye By-bye

And you never got the chance to see how good I’ve done
And you never got to see me back at number one
I wish that you were here to celebrate together
I wish that we could spend the holidays together

I remember when you used to tuck me in at night
With the Teddy Bear you gave to me that I held so tight
I thought you were so strong
That you can make it through whatever
It’s so hard to accept the fact you’re gone forever


Pak Ngah passed away in December last year.. Even till today I still think of him as if he's still around, of him sitting there watching TV by his favorite spot, of him playing with Hazique, of him teasing us all when we were children. Am so glad we celebrated Raya last year in Ipoh, at that point which none of us would've thought it was going to be his last.

We made an impromptu road trip to Ipoh when we were informed he was admitted to the hospital. It was an easy decision to make, for us cousins to take the day off from our work that Friday to visit Pak Ngah.

When the phone rang at 5.50am that morning with Mak Teh's name, I just knew.

I took part during the mandi jenazah in preparation for the burial. No words can fully describe how it felt like, and the emotions that went surging through as I pour the water along his body under the white cloth.

Death as part of the circle of life...the imminent certainty for everybody. At which all that has happened, all that has been said and done, all the happiness and heartbreak, all the successes and failures, all the worldly trimmings comes to a closure... and all that is left are memories kept by the living, while the departed faces the final curtain - and on towards the beginning of afterlife.

Alfatihah to Pak Ngah...semoga rohnya dicucuri rahmat.

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