di bumi nyata

1.

awak, sampai hati buat saya begitu.

oh, memang. salah saya sebenarnya kerana menyangkakan yang terbaik.

di bumi nyata ini, saya seharusnya berhenti di simpang itu.


2.

this too, shall pass.

i move forward, licking the banoffee pie stickiness off my fingers.


3.

despite my dengue episode, i passed! reason to celebrate.

of light, or none

as much as i'm the uber-idealist and forever focusing on the silver lining in every cloud, sometimes, just sometimes, i could lose hope too.

nothing in particular, as my memory is short.

the road less travelled

if you ask me, yes, actually, i do feel tired sometimes.

but it's of the good kind.

i just learn to not dwell too much on the fact that my weekends are now few and rare in between work/family/classes. all those social outings have taken a backseat. and i make the best out of whatever free days i actually have, which has decreased considerably in number. even public holidays are no guarantee that i wouldn't be in a classroom at sunway by 9am, being lectured on ethic codes, accounting treatments and whatnots or cramming for the next test/exam.

it's alright. it's all for a good cause.

heh, siapa suruh gatal apply for ICAEW?

takde sapa-sapa. saja suka!

ouch

bla bla bla yak yak yak. see.


and still, almost every time, i just hurt myself a bit every time.

i know i shouldn't, and yet like a moth to flame, i threw myself at the very thing that i know will only make me bleed.

for every action, there's a reaction.

i shall stand as long as i can and reach as far as i'm able to.


i suspect i'm a closet that too.
ah, pain.

be still.

the choice is there, all mine to make.

my willpower is weak.

Daremo Shiranai

Dear Kak Min,

I watched Daremo Shiranai again yesterday. And the day I saw it for the first time at LB came to mind. You expected me to cry, and I did buckets!

You had always expected my tears :)

You said, "Those tears come from God".

You were the only person who treat my tears and the fact that when I cry they run into rivers as something not to be ashamed of, and in fact, you made it as if it's a trait to be appreciated.

No, I haven't cried much this year. Not these days. No one suggested good movies to cry at lately, hehe.

Other than at movies? Nah, not there too. Life's good. Nothing that needs to be bawled about.

If you're here, I'd tell you what's new over nasi lemak ayam and Krispy Kreme donuts. But you're not.

Anyways.

There's always prayers to be said, kan.

* Hugs hugs hugs *

oh

Today, what you did, kind of hurt a bit.

What a fool I was to think that there's more to it than the surface.
Today's incident seals the deal on what I've suspected.
So...it's still just not much more than the surface, I suppose.


I really want you to be happy, you know? I thought you already are.
Or maybe you HAD to do what you did simply because doing otherwise would hurt YOU.


Oh well. I shan't let this pull things down anyways.

wonderful life

I wrote in my facebook today : love, is a wonderful experience.

It is.

To have loved, and be loved in return, is the greatest thing you'll ever learn. Haha. From Moulin Rouge (just love that movie, never thought Ewan McGregor could actually sing).

Agreed. Kan, kan.

--------------

The new year has been rather eventful, although it's only mid-February.

Trips that someone made.
Trips that I'll be making.
A fresh start - enrolling to school again after all those years.
Getting into the groove at the new workplace.
Coming to terms with being mundane.
Charting the next course of things for the rest.

And I did away with several credit cards, some of which I barely use anyway (oh it was so satisfying cutting them into little pieces!).

------------

I'm starting to forget how it used to be.
And so I am wary to err.
Coz my heart has been torn to pieces, smashed and burnt.
I gathered the ashes, of which are mixed with clay that I found along the way, and molded it into the shape I best thought it used to be.

Doesn't it look like a brick now?

March forward, brick!